AT BAR Jaime, Larry and the angry, anxious Man in the Hat watch on.
FORD IN THOROUGHFARE TWO DRUNKEN COLLEGE BOYS thwap an unhappy Ford on the back.
Vomit rips off his headgear and looks to a purse on the couch just as the purse's owner, a cancer-curing beauty wearing nothing but an oversize I (picture of a heart) Black Vomit T-shirt, bursts out from under the blanket, sipping from a pink bottle of wine cooler. Zuzu giggles away as Vomit slithers down to kiss her. DRESSING ROOM Holding Zuzu's purse behind his back, Bobby Vomit bobs back up. Vomit tosses her purse smack dab into her face and lips with a bonk. STAGE The audience explodes in a flurry of cheers as... O.) Welcome, sluts and perverts, I give you, Black Vomit! BOUNCER Ford, I gotta ask you to put that out, dude. Ford flings his hand down with a quick motion and rubs at the carpet with his foot. Ford lifts back up his hand, revealing that the cigarette never left it.
VOMIT Now, Zuzu, didn't I tell you to lay off the coolers? Zuzu drowsily raises her head, eyes closed, and adorably puckers up. Vomit seethes off to a nearby roadie holding a big drum of goo, flinging off his wire rim glasses. The roadie begins pouring the goo over Bobby's head.
The OVARIES, four young women dressed in stylishly- shredded pink leather jackets, enter the office holding burritos.
MAN WITH HAT Yeah, I'm just some guy named Sam, asswipe. The sleazebag leaps up like a wild animal and swings his fist at Ford. Sam sharply swings his other fist around, but Ford grabs this one, too, locking them into an Arthur Murray lesson position. The crowd has taken an active interest, but the band continues to play. Why can't you sleazebags who harass women take 'no' for an answer? Ford bobs back up with a puzzled expression and puts a cigarette in his mouth. FORD You're ten seconds away from the most embarrassing moment in your life. A gun slides out of his sleeve through a sliding -style apparatus, into his hand. ACROSS the wall, the VIEWER sees hundreds of autographed photos of various rock stars pinned to the wall in a surrealistically haphazard fashion.
Ford smiles, turns to the bar, and takes a last sip from his shake before smashing the fountain glass into the face of the stuttering Sam, sending him off his barstool. The fanatic drops on all fours and crawls under the table. Sam crawls out from under one table and makes under the long tablecloth of another. Sam the Sleazebag flails the jagged candleholder at Ford, who swerves away and connects with a savage kick to the groin, which Sam enjoys. Sam swings out again, but this time connects with a slash to Ford's chin. His solemn anger stops Sam the Sleazebag in his tracks. The VIEWER'S VIEWPOINT MOVES UP TO a wall where a set of curtains mysteriously cover a compartment.
Screenplay by Dan Waters Story by Jay Cappe & Dave Arnott Based on a character Created by Rex Weiner A Silver Pictures Production May 1,1989 [NOTE: THE HARD COPY OF THIS SCRIPT CONTAINED SCENE NUMBERS. Vomit savagely snorts into a vial of crystal methe. He wryly murmurs to himself as the reflection on his sunglasses go from the screaming crowd to the landing chopper. The crowd sounds like all ten thousand of them are in labor -- they love this. The desperate-to-get-in crowd are dressed-to-kill-be- killed-and-kill again. POV - RUCKUS AT DOOR The Doorman and the frenzied would-be patrons turn TO the VIEWER and go silent and motionless. short club owners, JAIME and LARRY, dressed almost identically, looking out into their club. She pulls away from her suitor to slap Ford with a growl. Don't you remember the Jacuzzi, Laurel Canyon, the Guns and Roses video wrap party.
THESE HAVE NOT BEEN RETAINED FOR THIS SOFT (TEXT) COPY.] EXT. Behind him, a big blanket on a couch rises up, becoming a giggling lump. Julian Grendel takes off his sunglasses with a scared expression. At the front of the line, the overly rich and gorgeous thrust and screech over the velvet ropes as a stoic DOORMAN, standing before glass doors, uses all the zen he can to tune them out. A MAN IN A BLACK HAT, sitting between them, turns to sneer... Started out doing every shit job in the biz; chauffeur, roadie, publicist, Phil Spector's bodyguard... GLASS ENTRANCE DOORS Handsome and intimidating, the VIEWER gets their first clear view of FORD FAIRLANE as the Doorman swings open the glass door allowing a classical head-turning entrance into the state-of-the-art club.
Embedded in one of the amplifiers is a wall socket timer clock -- two needles about to touch.